Do you have to know how to swim?
This is one of my favorites. Who doesn't know how to swim? Seriously, get to a pool, lake, stream, whatever and spend some time in the water. I don't expect Michael Phelps, but how can you be an adult and never been in water deeper than a bath tub.
Furthermore, if you don't know how to swim why does jumping off of a boat in the middle of the ocean seem like a good idea? We try very hard to be clear about what we do SCUBA DIVE, in the ocean, from a boat, please be comfortable in the water. If you are not comfortable, maybe stay on the beach? or in the hotel pool?
Are there sharks out there?
I hear this all the time, and I blame shark week and terrible movies like Sharknado for the misconception people have of sharks. Of course there are sharks out there, it's the ocean. That does not mean you will see a shark, nor that a shark is around. And you will not be eaten by a shark.
Are there mosquitoes in the forest? Are there pigeons in the city? Nobody asks these questions yet these animals do cause a lot more death and destruction every year than sharks.
I have a cut / on my period, will that attract sharks?
Just stop and think about this one. How much blood actually oozes out when you cut yourself. I'm talking about a little "band-aid" sized cut, not a "I need stitches" cut. The small amount of blood that may get into the ocean is not enough to attract anything, and while it may be true that sharks can smell that one drop of blood, it won't send them into a frenzy. Don't worry about sharks, if you cut yourself in the ocean make sure it gets cleaned out because the bacteria can be more dangerous than sharks.
I just had major surgery and I'm ready to dive
I'm glad you think you are ready to dive, but what about your doctor? Now that we know about your medical condition we need a doctor's authorization before we can take you diving. Unfortunately, I don't have a doctor on staff who can check you over, but I do have the proper forms; so please, if you have a medical condition get the forms to the doctor, have him sign them and clear you to dive. I can NOT just take your word for it.
Will we see fish?
Nope....fish don't live in the ocean. Next question
Are we still going even if it rains?
What, are you afraid of getting wet? You are about to jump into the ocean, who cares if it rains. People routinely call just to ask this question. Please just stop and think before you speak.
Where will we go?
I especially love this question from tourists. Do you know the dive sites? You just told me that you have never been to Hawaii before, so what am I supposed to tell you? We are going to Timbuktu, or, Bratislava, or Turtle Canyons; you don't know the difference. My apologies to both of you out there who do know the dive sites and are legitimately interested. If you are one of them, please let me know before you ask this question and I will make sure you get a good answer.
There are many more silly questions to come. Please share your own experiences too!
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